1. The Ayudante
Your camioneta experience is invalid if
there is no interaction with the ayudante. The Ayudante helps with your
belongings (if he is nice) and collects your bus fare aka pasaje. Common
phrases will include, "(insert destination name said rapidly multiple
times)", "Pasaje por fa", "Corrense por atras",
"Donde caben dos, caben tres", and "Servidos". Ayudates
may be occasionally responsible for the musical selection on the camioneta,
with musical choices ranging from 80’s and 90’s hits, bachata and duranguense.
2. The Beggar/ The Preacher
The beggar/preacher can be found at any
major bus stop or terminal. The beggar can range from having a sad unfortunate
tale to a disfiguring ailment that prevents the individual from actual gainful
employment. The preacher is usually an older evangelical man carrying a black
briefcase with pamphlets on one of two causes why you should give to him, the
orphaned children that need food and clothes or help the church because if you
don't you will spend an eternal life in hell.
3. The Vendor
The vendor can quench your thirst, alleviate
your hunger, heal your pain, cure your diabetes and provide you with the latest
music and movies on the market. Some times you can find some good deals on
household items, including tools and kitchen utensils. Some of my favorites
include fruit in a bag, caramelized peanuts and coconut cream.
4. The Baby
This
little human being is usually being carried on their mothers back; some will be
cute and irresistible. Be cautious when making funny faces not to make the
child cry because it will be likely they will not stop. They are most
irritating while crying.
5. The Drunk aka Bolo
It is highly advised to stay away
from this person. A bolo can be young or old, alone or accompanied by other
bolo friends. There are two distinct types of bolos: the street bolo is usually
soiled and beaten up; the party bolo is most likely accompanied by others and
more belligerent than the street bolo. Bolos can be heard rambling or crying from
sorrow and heartbreak. If they are too out of control they are likely to be
thrown off the bus at any given moment.
6. The Good Citizen
This can be a generous man or woman who can
share a simple kind word, a piece of their fruit during a long ride or treat
you to a gelatina (Jell-o) or ice cream. You can talk to this person the whole
way or have short random conversations on the way to your destination about
everything from where your from, what you do, how you like or don’t like living
in Guatemala and why your not married. Their intentions are genuine; there are
no ulterior motives or creepy vibes. These people are hard to come by,
but when they do they brighten up your day.
7. The Pickpocket
There
is no general description of a pickpocket. He/she can be a man, woman, child,
or a team of pickpockets. Some are better skilled than others. A word of advice
learned early on is to spread it all around. Items commonly confiscated are
wallets, loose bills and cell phones. A stupid pickpocket will answer the
stolen phone and tell you that you should not expect to see it again.